Social Justice Issues

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Is Change Really About Behaviors in Public Schools?

 by: Leanne Hoagland-Smith

Much is written about behaviors in elementary schools, middle schools and high schools. The question is to ask is it really the behaviors that need to be changed? Are not behaviors the desired end result? Doesn t our society long for young people whom demonstrate the behaviors of respect as well as being engaged students? Would not our schools be far better off with students whose behaviors consistently contribute positively to the overall goals for the school district? If our young people could consistently behave in a way that leads to a balanced life and achieve their dreams, wouldn t that be incredible? From the answers to these questions, then behaviors are truly the desired result and hence are the end and not the beginning.

What prompted these questions were several recent conversations with clients. A school administer had contacted me about providing some consultation work around bullying. Schools across America are facing an increased in bullying and have instituted numerous programs. Some of these programs have been successful, but the bullying isn t going away even when the perceived causes change.

After several minutes of listening to the issues within this school, I made the observation that Bullying behaviors appeared to be more of symptom than the real problem facing this school. The real problem was the presence of a multitude of belief systems that existed within the school. These different belief systems remind me of the Bumper Cars carnival ride where the cars consistently bump, nudge and slam into each other. Continuing with this analogy, the bullying behavior is the outcome of these forces working against each other.

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Of course in today s political correct world, we cannot use the word beliefs because someone immediately thinks of religion and how church and state must be kept separate. Yet, beliefs simply are those foundational, internal thought processes that determine what we do as individuals. A variety of attitudes or what some call habits of thought support these beliefs systems.

For example, in education there are many resources devoted to helping at risk children. These resources have been in place for over 40 years and have developed a belief system that at risk children need these resources and without these resources they will not be successful. However, the outcomes of improved academic performance continue to elude many of our schools. The recently released Nation s Report Card showed no progress during the last 33 years in reading scores for 17 years old and these students average scores were not even close to mastery of the reading skills required in today s knowledge driven workplace.

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One of the newer belief systems in education centers focuses on the behaviors of young children. Never in our history have we had so many children on medication to treat active children or what some call hyperactive children. One would think that this phenomenon is an anomaly given that 40 to 50 years ago this problem was fairly insignificant. Now if a child acts up, a belief system reinforces the need for medication and special education. Can you imagine what classrooms and schools will look like in another 40 years?

Until belief systems are first acknowledged and then identified, sustainable change will continue to allude our educational institutions.. But what is even more important, the persistent application of traditional solutions will drain our critical resources and continue to harm our young people and set them up for a life of failure instead of success.

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Copyright 2005(c) Leanne Hoagland-Smith, www.processspecialist.com

This article may be freely published. Permission to publish this article, electronically or in print, as long as the bylines are included, with a live link, and the article is not changed in any way (grammatical corrections accepted).

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Children s Birthday Party Planning: When and When Not to Have a Big Party

 by: Kimberly Hargis

Age 1: Invite only family members and close friends only because this birthday is more for the parents than for the child. At age 1, a child doesn t understand the concept of Birthday Party. He or she is getting a lot of attention—which is all a 1-year-old wants or understands anyway. You should not go overboard on presents because too much could scare or confuse a child. You should consider getting specialty items such as a plate that says First Birthday, a 1-year-old candle, and possible a table cover that everyone could sign with fabric paint to have as keepsakes that can someday be shown (or given to) to your grown child.

Age 2: 2-years-olds should have one or two playmates over for a small Birthday Play Day. Again I suggest you keep a birthday plate and other keepsakes for your 2-year-old.

Age 3: 3-year-olds should have three to four playmates over, and at this age you might have try a birthday game such as Who can stack the blocks the highest? I do not recommend having a clown or playing any games that require a blindfold over a child s eyes such key due to the fact either can scare children at this age. Remember your child has just turned 3, and the playmates are around that age. They are still not able to understand fully structured games very well. They only know if they do something good or better than other children, everyone will give them attention. Again I suggest you collect keepsakes.

Age 4: At 4, children should now be ready for a real party. I suggest four or five playmates. 4-year-olds are ready now for party decorations, but I suggest you do less and save your money for the big number 5 birthday (or buy decorations that you can put away and use again). Games such as Musical Chairs, and carrying a hard boiled egg on a spoon to the finish line without dropping it relay race can be appropriate, but remember that games will be played and finished much sooner than you think. Consider having a few of your child s favorite videos on hand. Even if the kids have seen them 100 times, they will enjoy them. After an hour or so, you will probably need a break and the children might be cranky. A movie they are all spellbound by will be a great way to relax the kids and you. You might want to consider spreading a couple of blankets on the floor and have some pillows handy for sleepyheads!

Age 5: 5-year-olds should have a big party, but remind them that this is because they are the big 5, and either starting school or just in school, and having a big party will not happen every year. Explain to them that big parties are only for special birthdays such as 5 because they have started or are starting school, 10 because that is the first double-digit number, and of course 16 ( Sweet 16 for girls and Driving Age for boys). This will save you money in the long run. On the fifth birthday, I suggest you first decide if you want to do it yourself, rent a building or park area but still do it yourself, or call local businesses (like McDonalds) to see what party-planning packages they offer. I personally suggest renting a park area if weather permits because the kids will be just as happy playing on park equipment as they would if you spent a ton of money on a professionally planned party. Have several inexpensive disposable cameras on hand and let your Birthday Boy or Girl take pictures ofhis or her first big party!

Great games for 5-year-olds whether inside or outside are:

1. Hitting a Pi ata that is full of candy.
2. Relay races, which can be held in a garage, carport, or park.
3. Water balloon fights if weather permits (and you have advised the parents that the children are likely to get wet).
4. Dancing to music and freezing when the music is stopped to see who looks the silliest (this is a great game and everyone should win a party favor).
5. Pin the tail on the donkey (consider a game that uses Velcro instead of pins).

You can also do face painting and movie time. As with the 4-year-olds, you need to over plan for games and activities and a movie is a great back up (or a much-needed rest time). Another helpful hint is to take enough large plastic trash bags to cover your kitchen floor and lightly throw all colors of paint on them. Allow for adequate drying time before the party. Then you can use these bags to cover your kitchen floor before cake time to catch cake droppings and milk or soda spills (which WILL happen).

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Ages 6-9: Birthdays can be simple overnight parties ( slumber parties for girls and all nighters for boys) filled with popcorn, junk food, movies, and video games. As long as you let the kids stay up all night and sleep in half the next day, this type of party can still be cool —what kid doesn t love the idea of staying up all night (even if they don t make it all night). If it is summer time, think about letting them sleep outside in a tent or on a screened-in porch (just be sure to let the parents know exactly where their children will be sleeping and you should plan to check in on them a few times during the night).

Age 10: This should be done about the same as age 5 in terms of it being a special age (and reminding your child that big parties like this will not be done every year. Ten is a good age to consider renting a facility such as:

1. Pool parties: most local pools offer after-hour times when you can rent the pool for birthday parties.
2. Roller- or ice-skating parties.
3. Local arcades or pizza parlors often have special birthday packages.
4. A day at the Zoo for your child and their friends.

Hint: To save money, check with the place where you plan to hold the party to see if you can decorate, bring in the cake, and other party favors instead of buying the supplies from them.

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Ages 11-15 do the same as ages 6-9 with a simple overnight party.

At 16, if they even agree to let you have a party, then consider yourself lucky. If they do, then you need to let the teenager decide what kind of party it should be. Remember kids at that age are very into who is popular and who is not. Don t push your child into inviting everyone you might think they should (because they might be afraid of being made fun of for having a party at home with their parents.) They know who to they can invite and who they can t without fear of peer pressure. My best suggestion for this age is either a pizza party at home or at a pizza parlor or a pool party, depending on the teenager s interest.

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Any party that you give should be Fun for your child. Expect that your only reward will be the memories you create for yourself. If you happen to get a hug and a kiss from a very happy child at the end of the day, then it will be a bonus to remember!

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